Being in a relationship is a good feeling, especially with someone we love. We want to be close to them, do things together as a couple, feel comfortable, etc. Oftentimes, we no longer have an interest in a relationship.
These interests are the things or hobbies that interested us before we got into a relationship. Our separate individual life has suddenly taken a back seat. We only do things with our partners.
While having shared hobbies or goals with our partner is good, we still need to maintain our Independence and have our interest in a relationship.
You may be wondering why this is important. So, I’ll be sharing with you 6 reasons you should have your interest in a relationship.
1 Moving on will be easier if you break up
I’ll always advocate for having an optimistic mindset when it comes to things. The reality is this, some relationships won’t end in a happy ever after.
This is why having your interest in a relationship is important because when all you have in your life is shared hobbies or interests with your partner, moving on will be much harder.
Trying to start up new hobbies or ways to occupy yourself after a breakup will prove difficult for you. This makes you stuck because all you have left will be things that remind you of your partner.
To avoid this, have your interests, goals, or hobbies. Develop them. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do things with your partner. But, also remember you should have a life.
2 You will have a sense of control
It is a serious red flag when your partner suddenly tells you to give up your hobbies or friends when you both get serious.
Except what and who they are asking you to give up isn’t good for you, they have no right to demand that of you.
When you start saying yes to everything your partner says without any good justification or without having a mind of your own, you are relinquishing control over your life.
A good way to maintain control over your life even when you are in a relationship is to have your interest in a relationship.
With this, your partner knows you are strong and independent on your own, you don’t necessarily need them to make your life feel complete, you are fine on your own. It drives home the point that you had a life before the relationship.
3 You don’t want to feel resentful
Imagine you love chocolate cakes so much and your partner loves vanilla cake. You convince yourself you love vanilla cake even when you don’t, and because your partner loves them. Soon, you will start feeling resentful towards your partner.
Why would you feel resentful? You feel like they are permitting you to eat what you want.
Also, each time you visit a pastry shop and see chocolate cakes but your partner picks vanilla cake, you will resent him or her the more.
Most times, it isn’t your partner’s fault. It could be during the time you guys were getting to know each other and he or she said “I don’t like a (wo)man who likes chocolate” and your brain made you say “same here”
At this point, you did that to keep him or her from not seeing you as a dating prospect. So, try and be vocal about your hobbies and what truly interests you.
You have your taste and you should stick with it. Also, your relationship may not last because of the resentment that will translate into different ways.
4 It is good for the relationship
When you spend too much time with your partner without giving them alone time they slowly start feeling stifled and feel like you are clingy. This is why having your interest in a relationship is important.
Having alone time separately makes you guys miss each other, love each other the more, and look for more creative ways together.
Your relationship will be healthy when there is a healthy dose of Independence between both partners.
Also, when you guys bring your different interests together for a date or while spending time together it makes the relationship fun.
5 It makes you have your circle
Sharing friends or moving with the same circle of friends with your partner can be good. But, you also need people or friends who are just yours.
The best way to get these people is by having your interest in a relationship. You may meet new people in the baking classes you are taking, the hiking exercises you have started, the art class you enrolled in, etc.
Have people you can connect with. You also don’t want to be that person who abandons their friends because they are in a relationship.
You need people that have got your back. Also, you need people you can spend time with. Your friends should also be a priority in your life.
There is nothing wrong with making your partner your best friend. But, you must have other people in your life. Be interested in other things.
Have different interests that you can talk about to your partner, friends, or family members. Don’t be the only person who doesn’t have something nice or a hobby they are interested in.
6 Remember who you are
Some people lose parts of themselves in a bid to maintain a relationship and I’ll never advise anyone to do that.
I am not saying there shouldn’t be healthy compromises nor am I saying you shouldn’t make an effort to be interested in what interests your partner.
But, knowing who you were before you entered that relationship. You should not neglect your identity in a bid to fit into the idea of a perfect partner for your boyfriend or girlfriend.
When you both constantly do things that only interest one person apart from the resentment that it builds, it also makes one person unhappy.
No one can be identical to you, you both have different identities so having different interests even when you are in a relationship should not be a big deal.