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7 Steps in Resolving Relationship Conflicts

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In our generation, because of several partners available for people to choose from, they find it hard to put in the required work and effort to make a relationship work.

They think that just because they love each other everything should just be sorted out even when they have conflicts in their relationship; this is why it is important to know how to resolve conflicts in a relationship.

A conflict in a relationship arises from many issues. It includes petty things like who should pay the bills, clean the house, and prepare dinner. It graduates into important things like cheating, lying, debts, lack of attraction, responsibilities, among others.

Several conflicts in a relationship occur, but still, it may not be big enough to make you consider leaving the relationship or marriage, and I think that is why you are reading this. 

So, I’ll be sharing with you how you can resolve the conflicts that may come up in your relationship. It is very important that you make up your mind to resolve it, because only then can you follow the advice judiciously.

1. Communicate

Lack of effective communication is the reason behind most conflicts in relationships. Couples talk all the time but rarely do they communicate. I believe that communication involves listening to what your partner isn’t saying, knowing when to bring up an issue, saying it is a good pitch of voice, etc.

Don’t feel or think that your partner should be a mind reader and know what is going on in your head, don’t keep silent on issues pressing you, don’t just talk, but also listen. When you do these, it is easier to avoid conflict in the relationship.

2. See conflicts as a way to grow

Assuming you and your partner have varying views on something, and you both cannot also communicate effectively and end up saying hurtful things to each other it could turn into a rift. But, if you both communicate well, you will be able to be on the same page with your partner, know each other more, and make your relationship grow.

When conflict arises in a relationship, use that period to learn new things about your partner. It could be their values, views, differences, similarities, emotions, among others. It should be a learning process to avoid similar conflict in the future and it also builds you both relationship and love even deeper.

You may not be comfortable with it, I mean who doesn’t want to prove that he or she is right all the time. But, it doesn’t hurt to see it as an opportunity for growth.

3. Make light of the conflict

Conflicts can lead to huge fights between couples. But, people who want their relationship to last long know how to manage conflicts. You can know just what to say or do to make your partner calm down, and put the stop to the conflict.

I am not saying you should avoid talking about what needs to be addressed, neither am I saying you should turn a blind eye to things. But, know when to put a stop to that conflict, and when you both are much calmer, you bring up the issue.

4. Ask necessary questions

Conflict in relationships most times pop up from months or years of built-up issues that haven’t been properly dealt with. When conflict happens, use it as an avenue to search deeper, and know the root cause of the conflict.

You shouldn’t be apportioning blames; neither should you bring up past hurts or arguments that will get your partner angry. Have an open mind so that you know what is happening and how to resolve it. Ask yourself and your partner the necessary questions even when the answers may be hurtful, it will only show you what needs to be worked on or fixed.

5. Accept your partner

No human being is perfect. Your partner may do things that annoy you, but you shouldn’t be dwelling on that. What you focus on will only magnify. What has your partner been doing right? How do you feel towards them? What about them makes your heart flutter?

Resolving conflict in a relationship involves accepting your partner wholly including the parts that annoy you. Also, be honest with yourself, know your emotions, and be yourself.

6. Know your patterns

Our negative patterns most times contribute to the conflict we face in our relationships. Some people give their partner silent treatment, while others have learned to ignore their partner instead of talking about things squarely.

They may give reasons like preventing themselves from saying hurtful things or escalating the issue. But, does your partner know these reasons? Don’t depend on this method to resolve the conflict. Face the issues squarely, and if you can’t do it immediately, let your partner know.

7. Learn to forgive

Learning to forgive our partners for the wrong they did to us can be hard for some people, especially if the issue was serious. When trust in a relationship is broken, it often leads to conflict in the relationship and it is hard to mend.

But, acknowledge all these emotions you are currently facing; that is, the feeling of anger, shame, sadness, among others. Then, decide to forgive, this process involves your partner admitting where you both went wrong by being honest with each other.

You both mustn’t give up on rebuilding the trust, even though it may take time.

We are humans and more times than we intend we may hurt our partners with our word or actions. I mean we all have flaws, but it isn’t enough reason not to make the necessary work and effort in our relationship.


Conflict in a relationship can be resolved no matter how long it takes, just make up the mind to do so, and put in the work required for it. A smooth relationship doesn’t happen because you just wish for it to be so. It involves commitment and works from both ends.

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Ukeme-obong Chris

I'm Ukeme-obong Chris, a lifestyle content writer and a freelance writer. In my spare time, I love reading good fictional and inspirational books.  I am currently pursuing my law degree, and I am the brain behind IConquerdaily which posts motivational and lifestyle content and also offers writing services.

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