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How to Be Independent in a Relationship

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As an individual, you must learn how to be independent in a relationship, especially romantic ones.

Spending time with your partner sharing ideas, doing Netflix and chill, going to ceremonies as a couple, going on dates, etc., is good because it helps to strengthen the bond.

But, for your relationship to be healthy, you both must have your independent lives to build a healthy and romantic relationship.

​Being dependent on your partner and having a life that revolves only around your partner may feel good initially. In the long run, it will seem like you are clingy, and no one wants a clingy partner.

Learning how to be independent in a relationship may seem difficult at first, when all you have known is to be dependent. This is why I’ll share how to be independent in a relationship.

1 Do things by yourself

Having personal things you do on your own and by yourself helps to make your relationship fun and exciting because you can tell your partner about it or invite them along if they are interested.

It is nice to have shared hobbies, fun activities, or interests with your partner. But, that defeats the whole purpose of learning to be independent in a relationship.

I am not saying you shouldn’t do things with your partner. It would help if you learned how to do things for yourself. It could be meditation, going for a run, having a hobby you love so much, etc. 

Having passions that you love and you are passionate enough are some of the things you should consider when doing things for yourself.

The essence is learning to be independent of your partner and cope if your partner is not around or unavailable.

2 Accept your partner’s point of view

I firmly believe and know that no two individuals are the same. This is why we constantly have varying ideas and points of view concerning things.

To learn to be independent in a relationship, you must understand and accept your partner’s point of view.

If you are in a relationship with your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn’t mean you both must share the same opinion about everything. It makes it look as though your partner doesn’t have a mind of their own.

3 Learn interdependence

When you are in a relationship, you must learn interdependence, not codependence, because that creates room for a healthy relationship.

When you are interdependent in a relationship, it means that though you love your partner and are good with your partner, you can still stand firm on your own.

A person who is codependent on their partner feels like they can’t exist on their own, and if, unfortunately, the relationship ends in a breakup, they can’t survive it.

To be independent in a relationship, you must not rely entirely on your partner for everything. Learn to be strong on your own.

4 Have your core values

Most people, when they enter into a relationship, forget about their core values and try to adapt to their partner’s values.

Yes, you can adapt your partner’s values if they are good. But, you must have your values as an individual.

What is important to you? 

What can’t you give up on? 

What do you value? 

Discover them and stick to them.

5 Practice self-love

The person who will stick by you till the day you die is yourself. You will be with yourself through the heartbreaks, when the relationship is sweet, during the good and evil.

So, how to be independent in a relationship is practicing self-love. You must love yourself enough and treat yourself right so you can love someone else.

When you don’t practice self-love, it is not said for you to see the way someone is mistreating you in a relationship as usual, and you tend to be dependent on your partner because you feel like you are nothing without them.

6 Have an independent social life

Before meeting your partner, you guys had different circles of friends and people you hung out with. This should not change because you are in a relationship.

Go out with your friends or family, plan night-outs with them, and go to events with them. This is for you to be independent.

Sometimes your man wants a guys’ night out, and sometimes your woman wants a ladies’ night out without you feeling as though your lives must be completely intertwined.

Maintain the good friendships and relationships you had before you met your partner.

7 Know what is important to you

Your partner is very important in your life. But, there are other things that should be important to you apart from your significant other.

It would be best if you had goals that are important to you and reaching for. Your life should have other things you don’t joke with.

Besides having an excellent relationship with your partner, sit and think about what else is important to you. It could be your goals, your job, your child, your family, etc.

8 Don’t put pressure on your relationship

I know how much you want your relationship to succeed. I know you love your partner; that is why I will tell you that putting unnecessary expectations and pressure on your relationship can ruin the beautiful thing you are trying to build.

Your life should not revolve around your partner. It would be best if you trusted your partner enough to be independent of you. 

Trying to make your partner focus on you instead of pursuing other things like goals, dreams, hobbies, and social life will not do anything good to your relationship 


I hope you have learned how to be independent in a relationship because having your own life will make the relationship sweet, healthy, and enjoyable for you.

Conquerors, It is beautiful to see your partner living the life they want and still being able to call them yours.

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Ukeme-obong Chris

I'm Ukeme-obong Chris, a lifestyle content writer and a freelance writer. In my spare time, I love reading good fictional and inspirational books.  I am currently pursuing my law degree, and I am the brain behind IConquerdaily which posts motivational and lifestyle content and also offers writing services.

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