We have all been in situations or experienced one form of pain or the other that we wonder how we can leave the past behind.
Most times, it seems like we can’t leave he past behind no matter how much we try.
We keep remembering those things that hurt us and we find ourselves dwelling there.
To leave the past behind requires a conscious decision and determination to do just that. We are holding on to the past consciously and we can only leave them consciously.
I have curated some steps you can use to let go of your past.
Steps to Leave The Past Behind
1 Try distance
Most times, we are close to the people that remind us of our past that we want to desperately let go of, or we find ourselves in places that trigger those thoughts.
So, the first thing you can do to leave your past behind is to try distance.
Distance yourself from the people who remind you of the past you try so hard to forget.
Stop frequently visiting places that remind you of your hurt and pain.
This is a temporary solution that can bring up long-term and permanent visits.
When you can finally visit those places or see those people without being immediately reminded of your past, know that you have healed.
2 Put in the work
No one will be able to help you let go of your past no matter how they love you.
This shows that for you to leave your past behind, you must put in the work yourself.
Be conscious when your mind actively drifts to those things you want to forget and draw your mind back to the present.
Initially, it may be difficult because our mind tends to wander the way it wants. But, you can control your mind.
Healing and letting go don’t come by chance, it requires effort and work.
You are mindful if you practice mindfulness, it is a bit easier to ensure that you control your mind.
3 Be kind to yourself
One of the things that constantly torment us or makes us feel dissatisfied is comparison.
For you to leave your past behind you must stop the habit of comparing yourself to others.
Don’t think about the fact that you got hurt, had a terrible past, or have the mindset that bad things happen to you.
It is also very bad when all you do is compare yourself to others who don’t have the same troubles or difficult past as you do.
Be gentle to yourself and be kind to yourself. Don’t constantly criticize or compare yourself to others.
Acknowledge the progress you are already making to let go of the painful past and encourage yourself.
4 Allow yourself to feel
It is difficult to leave the past behind when you haven’t allowed yourself to feel and process the different emotions you are supposed to.
I know you are trying to save yourself from more hurt. But, not processing those feelings makes it difficult for you to let go.
Don’t shut down your feelings. Feel everything you want to and then move on from them. The feeling makes moving on easier.
Also, not letting go because you are waiting for the person who hurt you to realize and apologize is a fruitless action.
You have to love yourself enough not to let someone keep you stuck in the past just because they haven’t realized their errors.
I love the quote that says “forgiveness is a gift you give yourself” this means that some days you have to forgive someone who doesn’t even apologize for your benefit.
5 Practice self-care
Self-care is making the decision and actively working towards letting go of your painful past for your benefit.
It is doing things that can help you move on from your past.
Those things could be engaging in activities, being mindful, talking about the past, visiting a therapist to help, etc.
Self-care is important and no one will do it for you. So, start engaging in self-care.
6 Have people
There are times that people who care deeply about you will be the ones who will help you leave your past behind.
The people in your life may be those aware of how to hurt you are and they go out of their way to help you.
No one can live in isolation this is why you should have people that can hype you and believe that you can let go of that painful past
7 Talk about it
I know people that what they needed to let go of a terrible past and to let go of the pain they were feeling was to talk about it.
Unfortunately, most people don’t have people they can talk to about a person, situation, or thing that hurt them.
This makes it difficult to move on from the past because they haven’t talked about it, nor have they processed it.
If the people in your life feel bored about hearing it, then talk to a therapist who will hear you, help you, and make you overcome your past.
Therapists are often professionals that will offer you the best advice and help you can get to fully let go.
Forgiving others is difficult and forgiving ourselves is even more difficult especially if we are apportioning all the blame to ourselves.
The apology you want to let go of the painful past or hurt may never come. So, I’m permitting you to forgive.
When you forgive and let go of the memories, forgetting the past becomes easy for you because the heavy work has been done.
I know how difficult it can be to leave the past behind. You may sound bored and feel that people don’t understand you each time they tell you to forget.
But, holding on to the past hasn’t done you any good so far.
So, decide to let go of the past and be kind to yourself during the process.
To talk to someone about it, reach out via this link.