How to play hard to get: 7 Tips that work

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Couple flirting


Most people wonder how they can play hard to get without making the person they are interested in feel like the feeling isn’t mutual.

For you to play hard to get, you have to be subtle about it and there must be a balance between pushing them away and making them aware you are interested.

These are some ideas on how you can pull it off without losing the person you are interested in.

1 Make it fun

Keeping a balance between pushing them away and yet drawing them closer to you is something you must do.

Your crush should find it enjoyable the same way you do. If they think you are serious about not liking them or needing more time they may stop chasing you.

Sending sexy messages or emojis is recommended to make them know they have a chance.

Hinting at the possibility of ultimately dating but also keeping them on their toes should be done with wisdom.

2 Prioritize yourself

I always stress that having a life outside of your relationship or partner is necessary and the best time to start is when they are pursuing you.

Let them know that you cannot just cancel your plans for them. Inform them that you may not be available to respond quickly to their messages because you have plans.

When you keep them informed, they are aware that your aim is not just to play hard to get, but they value the time you can give them.

The next time you text or call they will be excited knowing that you have a life of your own and you are giving them your time. It makes you even more attractive to them.

3 Know their boundary

While you play hard to get, it is intending to ultimately date them. So, you must know your crush’s boundaries to play this game.

How long do they want to stay without hearing from you before they freak out because they are worried or before they think you are uninterested?

How often do they want to spend time with you and how often can they stay without seeing you without feeling like there is someone else in the picture?

You must have answers to some of these questions for you to play hard to get well.

Losing your crush’s interest isn’t something you want, and you don’t also want them to feel like they are unimportant to you.

4 Strike a balance

The relationship is always given and taken and for a relationship to work, both parties have to put in the effort.

No one wants to feel like they are the ones doing all the work and getting only crumbs, their effort needs to be reciprocated.

While you want your crush to actively chase you and make you know how much they want you, you also have to put in the work.

Making your crush feel like you are only a taker and you don’t give as much as you are given may make them uninterested.

While you play hard to get, strike a balance. Don’t make it too difficult for them to reach you or get to know you.

You should play the game in a way that they know you like them but you are not also cheap to get.

5 Make them miss you

It is often said that absence makes the heart grow fonder and the same applies to relationships.

When you are always with someone by spending time with them or chatting with them or just knowing that they are a phone call away you may forget how valuable they are to you.

You may be in the early stages of your new relationship or your crush has made his or her intentions known and always spending time together is what you both love.

But, once in a while, spend time away from them because you need a breather, your own life, and for them to miss you.

When they realize that most time you will be on your own, the time you spend with them will feel more special and valuable and they will miss you when you are not around.

6 Be busy

A man or woman will actively chase you when you are busy or when you make them aware that you don’t have all the free time to spend with them.

Imagine you have been trying to get a hold of your friend to hang out, but they tell you they are busy, the day they make out time for you, you will feel important to them.

The same goes for your partner or crush, have a life that you are busy with, let them be aware of it and watch them chase.

You can be unavailable for several reasons, but it shouldn’t be in a way that leaves them worried. You can stop canceling your plans each time they tell you they want to spend time with you.

Play hard to get by having your personal life that you are busy with and watch them come after you.

7 Know the limit

Letting your crush or partner know you are interested in them before you play hard to get them helps calm them down and make them aware that you have feelings for them.

It may be confusing for your partner when one day you are available and the next day you can’t be reached. It sends mixed signals to them.

They may feel like you no longer like them or you are no more interested in pursuing a relationship with them.

So, know the limit of your games. Make them aware that you like them and that you are interested. Don’t make them confused about your true feelings.

Final thoughts

Playing hard to get can be fun and it keeps your crush or partner on their toes but it shouldn’t be done in a way that makes them feel you aren’t genuinely interested.

Also, while you play hard to get, let your partner know that it is your true self you are projecting and not just a made-up version of yourself.

Strive for a balance and play the game wisely.


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Ukeme-obong Chris

I'm Ukeme-obong Chris, a lifestyle content writer and a freelance writer. In my spare time, I love reading good fictional and inspirational books.  I am currently pursuing my law degree, and I am the brain behind IConquerdaily which posts motivational and lifestyle content and also offers writing services.

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