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How to Reject Someone Maturely

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Being rejected, and being the one rejecting is never a nice feeling.

As the rejected, you will feel hurt and disappointed, and as the rejector, you have to come up with ways to reject the person maturely so that their feelings and self-esteem will not be completely ruined.

While rejecting someone, we may do that in a way that makes the person feel like we are just saying it without meaning it, which makes them want to try harder. Or, you may reject them in a way that hurts and without concern for their heart at all.

This is why I’ve curated some ways in which you can reject that girl or man maturely in a way that can even leave you both as friends and not enemies.

 1. Be Truthful

Being honest and truthful when you want to reject someone is very important. You should never into a relationship with someone purely out of pity, neither should you try to sugarcoat the reason why you can’t date him or her.

Yes, you both have gone on several dates together and gotten to know each other. But, at the end of the day, it doesn’t feel right because there is something wrong.

I implore you, to be honest about why you are rejecting him or her. Telling the person the truth may point out what they need to do to attract the right partner into their life.

Being truthful is better than flattering with lies, and allowing them to carry on with the notion that all is well.

It is advisable you reject the person instead of stringing the person along, and later leaving him or her questioning their worth.

It is pertinent here that you don’t give them false hope of maybe getting together with them in the future.

Hinting at a future together, when you know that it is not your plan for them should not be done.

No matter how difficult it may be, be honest enough with them to tell them that you can’t be in a relationship with him or her, or the fact that the relationship will not go anywhere. This is how to reject someone maturely.

Recommended for you: How to deal with rejection

2. Don’t Argue

Preparing yourself to reject someone should also make you prepare yourself mentally for the fact that your words may be misinterpreted, the person may be angry, and want to get into an argument with you.

This is another vital step when you want to reject someone maturely.

Let’s face it, you’re hurting this person, so it is maturer for you not to get into an argument with him or her.

Allow them to talk all they want, but don’t get into a confrontation or argument.

If they are mature and value the friendship you both share, they will still want to reach out after the rejection. If not, let it be because you can’t force yourself to like someone.

3. Do it Physically

Technology has made it easier for us to reach out to someone via calls or text messages. But, most information needs to be communicated physically.

You should tell the person you are rejecting face to face because it will be easier for them to know how serious you are through your facial expression. 

Also, where there is a need for you to help them process the rejection, you can help them, this is how you reject someone maturely.

In cases where the person you are rejecting is violent or may cause a scene and know you cannot deal with it, you can do it over the phone for your safety.

4. Don’t Shift Blames

Many people agree with the fact that rejection should be done from the “it’s not you, it’s me” approach.

This means that you should not apportion blame or make the other person feel like they are the reason for the rejection.

Yes, they may have an attribute or acted in a way that makes it impossible for you to feel an attraction towards them, or where there is an attraction, it is hard to pursue a relationship with them.

But, you don’t have to lay the name on them because it will only lead to more hurt and disappointment. Reject them nicely and softly.

5. Process your Feelings

When delivering news to someone, especially if it is bad news or what they would not like to hear, it is okay for you to feel nervous because you are thinking about how they will receive the news.

You must process your feelings. Accept that you don’t like this person enough to enter into a relationship.

Acknowledge that you are nervous about the important decision you are about to make.

Also, don’t let your feeling of nervousness prevent you from rejecting the person you have to.

It is better you let them go, and allow them to find someone who will love, and appreciate them.

6. Do it Immediately

When it comes to rejecting someone we may want to put it off, and do it later because we are nervous or because we are not truly ready to let them go especially if they have been good to us.

This is where selfishness comes in. We don’t want to date that person but because of the role they play in our lives, we don’t want to let them go.

You should reject them immediately then play with their emotions, hang on to them, and later break up with them when you find a replacement or you just can’t keep it in anymore.

Rejecting them immediately will help them process the hurt faster, and move on quickly from you, than for you to allow them to invest their feelings and emotions, only to be turned down.

It is like ripping off a band-aid, do it quickly because even if it hurts, they will get through it faster.


Conquerors, as much as you don’t want to be the bad guy, you must be upfront with the person who is pursuing you that you are not interested in the relationship.

It is very wrong for you to lead them on, and make them believe in a possibility of a future with you when there is none.

I hope these steps help you reject someone maturely, and maybe make them forge a friendship with you.

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Ukeme-obong Chris

I'm Ukeme-obong Chris, a lifestyle content writer and a freelance writer. In my spare time, I love reading good fictional and inspirational books.  I am currently pursuing my law degree, and I am the brain behind IConquerdaily which posts motivational and lifestyle content and also offers writing services.

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